Why do some people choose to ignore the warnings signs that their marriage is in trouble?  Perhaps, it is because many of us dislike making waves.  The easy route at the time is often to look at life through rose-colored glasses.  Admitting there are problems and dealing with those problems does take courage, but it is something that needs to be dealt with immediately.  Waiting and hoping that things will somehow work out is never a good course to follow.  Sooner or later things will come to a head and you will no longer be able to ignore the issues.

The earlier relationship problems are dealt with, the better it is.  This is especially true with saving a marriage.  Problems seem to have a way of escalating rather easily.  A good example is money problems.  Issues with money are common for many people.  In a marriage, hurt feelings related to money problems can easily carry over into other aspects of the marriage, such as the bedroom.  When discord or hurtful feelings are present, then it can certainly impact one’s desire for sex or intimacy.  When intimacy issues arise, then this can lead to other issues; such as an overall communication breakdown within the marriage. Don’t ignore problems when they develop or it might turn into a get your ex back situation. 

If you have noticed that your marriage is not as loving as it use to be, then take a good hard look at your marriage.  Look at problematic issues that are often brushed over and discuss them with your spouse in an open, honest, friendly and calm way.  Many times, the sooner you get to the heart of a problem, the easier it becomes to work on a resolution to the problem, before it escalates into other areas of the marriage.  Doing this is very important and will help to prevent the need to save a marriage.

The objective should always be to continually work on building a healthy wholesome marriage, so you do not have to be concerned about saving a marriage.  A marriage needs tender loving care to thrive.  Be proactive and give your marriage the attention it deserves. 

Be Encouraged,

Chelsey

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cheating spouse help - click

Do you have an inner instinct whispering, you have a cheating spouse?  A marriage is based on trust.  Many of us often have a gut feeling when that trust has been broken.  The desire to catch your spouse cheating frequently takes hold, and rightfully so.  You have a right to know if your spouse has cheated on you. 

If you have suspicions regarding your spouse’s faithfulness, then here are a few signs of a cheating spouse to look for.  Please bear in mind that these are only indicators and do not necessarily mean that unfaithfulness has occurred.  However, the more of these signs you can identify, then the more likely your spouse may be cheating on you.  Don’t forget these are only indicators and do necessarily imply unfaithfulness.

1.  Suddenly your spouse has become very attentive.  You find you cannot attach any particular reason to the sudden attentiveness.  Often this display of attentiveness arises because of guilt feelings.  Some people experience the opposite effect.  Their spouse seems to use every opportunity to stay away.
 
2.  The work hours of your spouse have become longer.  If previously your spouse had a fairly consistent work pattern and now there appears to be a shift in that pattern with longer hours, then this could be one of those signs your spouse is cheating.
 
3.  Sex seems to have become a thing of the past.  Have you notice that you and your spouse are no longer connecting sexually.  Intimacy is totally lacking between the two of you.  Be watchful of this sign, especially if your marriage had previously been sexually satisfying.  
 
4.  You have started to notice that your spouse’s faith is now lacking.  If your spouse previously embraced a strong faith, but now tends to shun the subject matter all together, then this may be a cheating spouse sign or indicator.
 
5.  You always seem to get “don’t want to go or do anything” routine.  It is not unusual for cheaters to want to shun the person they are cheating on, especially when it involves going out in public.
 
6.  A makeover seems to have transpired for your spouse.  You can’t help but noticed: the new hairstyle, new clothes and general overall appearance seems to be much neater.  Sometimes, the changes can be quite subtle.  It might be a different hair part with styling products being used, outfits seem to be better coordinated or perhaps your spouse has gone from looking sloppy to neat.
 
7.  Repeatedly, your spouse indicates boredom.   This boredom many times invades all aspects of the home life.  Nothing seems to interest your spouse anymore.  If so, this may be a sign of a cheating spouse.

Many times when cheating is involved, a breakup does occur.  However, a marriage is a major commitment  many of us invest a lot into in terms of dedication, time and emotional bonding; as well as financial resources.  It is not uncommon for get your ex back feelings to come about, when this happens.  The sooner any relationship problem is addressed, the better.  Marriage retreats frequently help couples, where unfaithfulness has occurred in the marriage.

Be Encouraged,

Chelsey 

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how to get back with your ex - click for help

Changes are a part of every relationship.  Some relationships will begin to blossom and flourish, while others will meet the dreaded fate of ending.   A desire to know how to get back with your ex often arises for a lot of people, who have suffered the dreaded fate of a failed relationship.  Now, a guarantee it will happen is not possible.  But there are some changes that you can make, that are straightforward and will be a great help to you when you try to get your ex back.

No two relationships are alike, because of the dynamics involved.  Having a wholesome healthy frame of mind can make all the difference in a relationship.  This is true in new relationships, as well as old or broken relationships.  Do you have a deep desire to get your ex back?  Here are three tips to help you build a healthy frame of mind and can have a huge impact on how to get back with your ex:

1.  Strive for a healthy positive attitude.  Don’t let negative thoughts be a barrier to your happiness.  What we think often carries over to our actions.  Negative thoughts frequently produce actions that can easily hurt our circumstances.  Don’t dwell on negative things; push these thoughts out of your mind.  Keeping yourself busy is a great way to help prevent negative thoughts.  People with a good positive attitude tend to be happy people that attract others.  This is how you want your ex to view you.  
 
2.  Concentrate on boosting your self-confidence.  Breaking up can often jolt a person’s self-confidence.  If this has happened to you, then pay special attention to your appearance.  Maintaining a good appearance is often a great way to help boost your self-confidence.  Even if you don’t have any plans for the day, focus on always making yourself look good.  Our appearance does influence the way we feel.  Some healthy ways to boost your self-confidence might include: get a makeover, visit a spa or perhaps go on a shopping trip and update your wardrobe. 

3.  Improve your self-esteem.  A breakup can easily trigger feelings of low self-esteem.  Don’t allow yourself to consider, even for one minute, that you don’t deserve to be happy.  We all deserve happiness in our lives. Seek out a good self-esteem book to read, or maybe take a course to help you improve your self-esteem.  Professional help is always advisable for those that possess severe self-esteem issues.  Don’t ever be afraid to seek professional help. Recognizing a problem and not taking the appropriate action often results in the problem worsening.  Having good self-esteem is a must when pursuing how to get back together with your ex.

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After a breakup, often free advice from loved ones come in abundance.   While their intentions have your best at heart, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the advice offered would be the best for you.  Here are a few important basic steps to take that focuses on the subject how to get back with an ex:

1.  Don’t try to convince your ex to get back together.  A breakup can literally crush your emotions and deplete the joy from your life.  Following a breakup, don’t keep badgering your ex to get back together, this will likely only intensify the problems between you two.  Both of you need time apart to heal emotionally.  Become committed to the process of letting your ex heal and avoid phoning, emailing and texting your ex.  You want your ex to view you as someone who is emotionally strong, not desperate and needy.  An emotionally healthy person is someone that is attractive to others, which is exactly how you want your ex to feel about you.
 
2.  Be truthful to your own self and ex partner.  A lot of times, it is hard for us to face up to our own mistakes or shortcomings. Your ultimate goal when working on how to get back an ex, should be to have a wholesome happy relationship.  It should not be a replay of the same relationship that you previously had.  The old relationship didn’t ended sadly.  Those same problems are very likely to surface again, unless you both deal with them.  Always be truthful, no matter how hard it may be, when you and your ex are working on past issues.  Truthfulness is always the best course to pursue, no matter the circumstances.
 
3.  Specifically identify what went wrong.  Before anything can be fixed, the exact problem must be known.  Often a breakup can involve more than one problem area.  Take a good long hard look at your relationship and focus on what went wrong.  Once you have identified your relationship problems, then you have a blueprint to work on for repairing the relationship.  This information will be essential to you in making how to get an ex back a successful pursuit.

Be Encouraged,

Chelsey

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What you must first do, before beginning your journey to get her back, is to spend time making sure you are doing it for the right reasons.  Has she been dating someone else lately?  Does spending the weekend alone torment you?  Deciding to undertake the journey to get your ex back should not be based on feelings of loneliness or the much despise emotion of jealousy. Unless you can wholeheartedly admit, you want her back for worthy reasons do not pursue the journey.  These reasons would be because you had a good relationship and you truly love her.

Here are three tips to embrace on how to get your ex girlfriend back that can help put you onto the path that leads to success:

1.  Smash feelings of beings sorry for yourself.  It is quite easy to fall into the trap of avoiding others and feeling sorry for yourself after a breakup.   Instead, you need to keep busy.  Hang out with your loved ones, because they can help give you support and comfort that can help to strengthen you emotionally.  Being emotionally strong is a real plus, which can help you to succeed in your pursuit to get back your ex girlfriend.
 
2.  Allow your girlfriend some much-needed space.  A breakup tears us down emotionally and as a result healing needs to occur.  If there is continual contact between you and your girlfriend, then this will hinder the healing process.  Once healing begins to occur in your girlfriend’s life; then it is quite possible she will begin to have feelings of missing you.
 
3.  Take a long hard look at your own self.  None of us like to own up to bad habits or traits that we possess.  In order to have a relationship with your gal that is healthy and wholesome, self-analysis is important.  If you can’t find any room for change, then it is very likely that you have problems.  Dig deep and identify your bad habits and traits and make the changes.  This can have a positive impact on your journey to get your ex girlfriend back. 

Be Encouraged,

Chelsey

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Do you need to know how to deal with a break up?  If so, life has probably not only been difficult for you, but emotionally challenging.  Many people after a breakup experience complex emotions, which leave them torn between moving on with their life or pursuing how to get your ex back feelings.

Is this the way you have been feeling since your relationship ended?  Connecting with your deep inner feelings will be a tremendous help, when it comes to making the right decision.  Keeping a diary, often-called journal, is a very therapeutic way to help you do this.  Many people have made writing in a diary the closing routine for their day. 

Writing in a diary will help you to capture your innermost feelings.  It is an effective way to help you visualize your dreams and plans.  Anytime you have a need to deal with emotional conflict, writing about how you feel will be therapeutic.

Often people who keep a diary consider their diary, as a well-loved friend.  You should strive to treat your diary the same way you would a good friend.  Give it tender loving care.  Don’t’ let food or messy fingerprints mar the appearance of your friend.  Always take the time to carefully store it away when finished writing.  A diary left lying around is an easy target for snooping eyes.

If you decide to start a diary to help you with the process of how to deal with a break up in a relationship, then take the time to go down to a local store and buy a special hardbound diary, or journal, that appeals to your style.  Grabbing some old notebook to use is not the way to go.  A friend is something that is cherished, this is the way you need to think of your diary.

Taking time to purchase a diary for this specific need will help you become committed to faithfully writing in it.  Brush aside any negative feelings like you can’t write.  Punctuation and grammar are not important.  Expressing your feelings is your goal.  Just simply write like you are talking to a good friend.  It is very likely that you will discover once you have started the words will easily come.

As you continue your writing, you will probably begin to notice something that has been missing from your life lately has returned … calm.  When calm has made its way back, then the answer on how to deal with a break up  will eventually be apparent to you.  Deciding whether to pursue a journey to get ex back, or just move on with life, no longer be overwhelming. 

Be Encouraged,

Chelsey

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A cheating boyfriend can be heart breaking.  Are you afraid your boyfriend has been cheating on you?  Women often have a built-in awareness known as intuition, which frequently tends to be accurate.

Often women know in their hearts that something is not right in their relationship, but are afraid to find out the truth.  If you are suspecting your guy has been unfaithful to you, then the quicker you know the truth the better.  You invest a lot of your time, heart and soul in a relationship and deserve for your guy to be true and faithful to you. 

Is your boyfriend cheating on you?  You deserve to know the answer to this question.  Here are just a few recognized signs that your boyfriend is cheating.  You shouldn’t necessarily be concern if one these signs stand out.  But should you recognize several of them, then take this as a red flag for concern.

1.  Strange behavior regarding his computer.  Have you noticed that all of a sudden your boyfriend has password protected his computer, or maybe his cell phone?  Or perhaps, you find yourself in bed alone at nights, because he is on his computer.  Frequently the excuses for this include: can’t sleep, gaming with guys or catching up on work.
 
2.  He doesn’t want to answer his cell phone.  The cell phone is an integral part of most people’s lives.  Have you noticed that suddenly your guy never wants to answer his phone when you are together?
 
3.  Your guy is suddenly sprucing up his appearance.  Do you find him buying some new trendy clothes, a different and more expensive cologne, a hair style change or other changes in his appearance that seem to give him a new look or makeover?
 
4.  Your boyfriend has started to workout. Have you noticed that your guy is now habitably going to the gym to exercise, where once any thought of exercise was a turn off?
 
5.  Intimacy changes have occurred in your relationship.  These changes will many times vary.  Has your guy become much more attentive to you lately, maybe even showering you with gifts?  Or perhaps, the reverse is true in your relationship.  He rarely seems to touch you like he once did.
 
6.  When a certain name comes up, the subject is changed.  Are you beginning to notice whenever the name of a certain gal is brought up your guy quickly changes the subject?

7.  Dates become less frequent.  Before you and your boyfriend use to meet regularly for lunch or dinner and often enjoyed doing things together, but now you have noticed you are spending less time together.

If you discover that your boyfriend has cheated on you, and you find yourself wanting your relationship fixed, then don’t be discouraged.  Every day there are couples that mend their broken relationship, despite situations that are often considered completely hopeless. 

Be Encouraged,

Chelsey

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The person who did the cheating, as well as the one that was cheated upon, will need to be committed and involved in the process of rebuilding the marriage.   This commitment cannot be half-heartedly done, but must be pursued with a burning desire to rebuild the marriage in order to survive martial infidelity.

Embracing the need for forgiveness will be a process that the person who has been cheated upon will need to be engaged.  A heart that has been open to forgiveness will no longer be plagued by bitterness.  Nothing can impede a person from living a wholesome healthy life more than having bitterness bind their heart.  Few people realize that the person who forgives benefits as much from the act of forgiveness, if not more, than the one who has been forgiven.

Don’t confuse forgiveness with forgetting.  Just because you forgive someone, does not mean that you should forget about what has been done.  An affair cannot be forgotten, nor should it be.  The key is not to permit yourself to dwell upon it, for this will serve no constructive purpose.  Marriage affairs happens and cannot be changed no matter how much you would like this not to be true.  Messing up is just a part of life for all of us.  None of us is immune from making mistakes and at some time in our life, we all will need to ask forgiveness.

For the person who did the cheating, repentance and a heart committed to rebuilding the marriage must exist.  Don’t expect things to just fall into place.  Anytime trust in a relationship has been damaged, it is not easy to rebuild.  Before someone who has cheated can move forward in working on rebuilding your marriage, they will need to deal with forgiving themselves.  Sometimes this is much harder to do than forgiving others.  Let patience, commitment and the love you have for your spouse be an abiding help for you when dealing with surviving infidelity in marriage. 

Be Encouraged,

Chelsey

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When engaging in the pursuit to get ex back, don’t let feelings of discouragement and hopelessness rule over your life.  Couples in extremely hopeless situations have resolved their problems and mended their relationship.  Be realistic and know there are no guarantees that this can happen for you.  However, you should certainly embrace reasonable expectations in regard to mending your relationship.  If things don’t work out, good times will still lie ahead.  Know that new loving relationships come about every day. 

To help you get started in your pursuit to get your ex back, below are some communication tips that will be helping in putting you on the right path to make it happen.  These are easy to embrace tips that can have a powerful impact.

1.  Don’t go down the road of trying to make your ex jealous.  Outrageous flirting with others around your ex will not benefit your situation.  During some light-hearted conversation casually let your ex become aware that you are considering other options.  Now be cautious when doing this. What you do not want to do is leave your ex with the feeling that things are over between you two.  What you are after is your ex’s response.  Just be subtle when doing it.

2.  Always try to maintain eye contact when talking with your ex.  When it comes to knowing how someone feels, the eyes often can give us a good indication.  If your ex breaks eye contact when you bring up your past relationship, then take this as a sign to steer away from this area of conversation because your ex is not ready.  You will need to be patient and keep your conversations friendly.  It will be apparent to you when the time is right to discuss your past relationship with ex.

3.  A little flirting can go a long way.  A light touch on the arm, or perhaps a charming wink at just the right time, can be quite effective with getting your ex’s attention.  Just be sure to embrace the saying that less is more.  You do not want to leave your ex with the impression that you are throwing yourself at them.  This will make you look clingy and needy, which is an absolute turn off and can hurt your chances to get ex back.

Be Encouraged,

Chelsey

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Do you miss your boyfriend?  Are you wanting to know how to get your ex boyfriend back?  A breakup is indeed extremely hard to deal with.  It can often leave one feeling emotionally crushed and totally without hope.

If you and your boyfriend have split up, don’t let yourself become discouraged on getting him back.  Girls everyday get their guys back, even when it seemed impossible.  Here are a few points to help guide you in the process of getting your ex boyfriend back.

1.  Be sure you look your best, even when you are not around your ex boyfriend.  Looking our best is a great way to boost self-esteem.  A gal that has taken the time to look her best is far more likely to catch the attention of a guy.  Try a new hairstyle or maybe add some color to your hair for a fresh new change.  Enhance your appearance with a little makeup.  Just a little lipstick or lip gloss can make a difference.  If you have a tendency to go to the extreme side with your makeup, then try going for a lesser made up look.  Your goal is get him noticing you and a well-kept appearance blended with a couple of small changes is a great way to start.

2.  Have a positive attitude.  Most likely you are feeling down in the dumps, since the breakup.  When feeling this way it is easy for a negative attitude to take hold.  This often results in whiney desperate behavior.  Guys hate girls who are whiney and act desperate.  This is certainly not the way you want to project yourself to your ex boyfriend.  You want him to see you as someone who has a positive attitude and is emotionally strong.  This will take you much farther in the process to get back your ex boyfriend, than going around projecting yourself as a needy, whiney and desperate person.
 
3. Don’t try too hard to get your ex boyfriend back.  Throwing yourself at your ex is not the way to get his attention.  What you are likely to achieve by doing this is pushing him farther away. When around him be polite, engage in pleasant healthy conversations but don’t give him a lot of detailed information on what is happening in your life.  A little mystery can go a long way in getting a guy’s attention and certainly works better than throwing yourself at him. 

Be Encouraged,

Chelsey

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